St Valentines Day - Funny Valentines Poems

A Valentines is Nothing Like...

A Valentine is nothing like
A chocolate or a rose.
For in a week these shall be gone,
But Valentines remain.
If love were always sweet to tongue
Or fragrant to the nose,
Each day would be like Valentine's,
And we would go insane.

A Valentine just hangs around
Waiting to be kissed
Long after special days have passed
And every days are here.

So one is wise to choose one well
And chocolates to resist.
For in the midst of mania
It's nice to have one near.

by:
Nicholas Gordon

My Funny Valentine

My funny valentine
Sweet comic valentine
You make me smile with my heart
Your looks are laughable, unphotographable
Yet you're my favorite work of art

Is your figure less than greek
Is your mouth a little bit weak
When you open it to speak, are you smart

Don't, baby don't
Don't change you hair for me
Not if you care for me
Stay little valentine stay
Each day is valentine's
Each day is valentine's day

Stay little valentine stay, stay, stay
Each day is valentine's
Each day is valentine's day
Valentine's day

By Richard Rodgers and Lorenz Hart

Night of Valentines Day

Twas the night made for lovers
Called St. Valentine's
And I was sick on the couch
From eating candy hearts that said 'Be mine'

The phone was not ringing
And there was no one about
My girl had left me yesterday
Because of a domestic spout.

There was no dinner on the stove
No roses in the vase
I was so lonely,
Just Chilling to Nas.

I was left alone with nothing to do
Then to my sudden surprise
I looked up from the couch
And a TV ad caught my eyes

If I dialed 900-talk smut
And put my ear to the phone
Some disgusting woman, possibly a slut
Would relieve me of being alone.

All they needed was a credit card
To keep me warm on V-Day
A few dirty remarks
And I felt like I had gotten a lay.

That's the way of phone sex
On V-day when you are single
Give them a call,
So your pants might feel a tingle.